Thoughts on a wrought iron fence

It all depends on your perspective.

If you are feeling negative about the fence...

It stops you getting out

It reminds you of an area where you cannot go

You can look at what is beyond but not touch it

It restricts your movements

It can cause pain if you climb it and fall

Its cold and harsh and immoveable

It generates feelings of powerlessness in you

However,

If you are feeling positive about the fence...

It indicates the boundary when you have gone far enough
It provides a safe zone to live and play in

It creates a sense of freedom from worry

It keeps out thieves and stray dogs

It is reliable and doesn't move on a whim

It is a thing of beauty made by a craftsman

How do I perceive the fences that God gives me?

Psalm 23

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." (New International Version)

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul." (New King James)

"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength." (New Living Translation)

"The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water. He gives me new strength. " (Good News Bible)

"The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength."(New American Bible)

"The Lord ruleth me and I shall want nothing. He hath set me in a place of pasture. He hath brought me up, on the water of refreshment: He hath converted my soul." (Douay-Rheims)

"Yahweh is my shepherd, I lack nothing. In grassy meadows he lets me lie. By tranquil streams he leads me to restore my spirit."(New Jerusalem Bible)

"The Lord takes care of me as his sheep; I will not be without any good thing. He makes a resting-place for me in the green fields: he is my guide by the quiet waters. He gives new life to my soul." (Bible in Basic English)

"You, LORD, are my shepherd. I will never be in need. You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life."(Contemporary English Version)

Advertisements

Have you noticed how many advertisements there are for more noise?

• Cheaper mobile phone subscriptions so that you can be contacted more often
• Faster internet for downloading music and videos
• Ringtones to make your life more 'musical'
• Digital television for more channels and radio stations
• Breakfast cereal that will 'snap, crackle and pop' as you eat it
• Beer that brings life to the party
• Icecream that makes you burst into song
• Multivitamins that give you the energy to vaccuum and dance at the same time
• Mineral water that makes lobsters in a restaurant serenade you

When did you last see an advertisement offering you 15 minutes silence?

Drained energy

There are some people that drain my energy. It does not seem to matter whether they are happy or sad, at work or on holiday, at home or away - being with them saps the life out of me.

In my life, where my job already drains my energy, I cannot afford to spend free time with people who drain me further. It has become important to surround myself with people who refill my energy banks.

Spending time alone, in silence, also helps refresh me. Which is where this search for rest, balance and rejuvenation began....

Beloved

Not our actions - what we do

Not our reputation - what others say about us

Not our possessions - what we have

But who we are - you are My beloved child, on whom My favour rests.

After Henri Nouwen

Psalm 1

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

The Discipline Of Submission

I have arrived at Chapter Eight in Richard Foster's book 'The Celebration of Discipline'.

What a difficult chapter this is for me; the Discipline of Submission.

By nature a perfectionist and critical of others' imperfections; by birth an eldest child used to taking charge and being independent; by profession a teacher used to instructing others; by heritage a person who is stubborn and unyielding.

I struggle with this chapter as I am all the things above and yet I am also the person that Foster describes who tries to avoid any sort of conflict and tries to please everyone. I am the person who avoids giving her opinion until everyone else has said their part, so I do not cause 'ripples' with what I say - or, if I do, I can present my opinion in a way so as to cause least disruption to the group.

This inner tension costs me endless energy.

Foster outlines seven practical areas in which we can learn to be submissive:

1. To God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit
2. To the Scriptures as the Word of God
3. To our families
4. To our neighbours and colleagues
5. To our church family
6. To the 'broken and despised' people of the world
7. To our world, the environment and the generations to come

At our study group on Friday, I could not get hold of how to move on in this discipline. I struggle with myself but I also struggle with the idea of where the healthy boundaries are.

1. When do I stop being a 'doormat' and stand up for myself?
2. When do I stop being a 'people pleaser' and say what I really think?
3. When do I accept the words of Christian leaders and when do I follow my own path?
4. When do I put the other person first and when do I put myself first?
5. When someone causes me pain, should I put their needs first and go on accepting the pain or break off the relationship to protect myself?

I found Foster's chapter singularly unhelpful! It did not seem to give me any practical help at all. He does indicate that the boundary lies where submission becomes destructive. Even that seems ambiguous.

Coming from a church tradition where 'putting others first' is solemnly taught on a regular basis, and having seen the damaged individuals that this can produce, I am in a fog about where the truth lies.

In the study group is a person who says that this discipline is a key thread through his life. In his dealings with others, his subconcious thought is one of 'how do I best serve the other in this situation?' He explained it so simply and yet it is also a deep mystery as to how this happens in such a healthy way.

Since Friday, I have allowed the words from the chapter some room in my thoughts. In the stillness before God, I am slowly coming to realise that, although I struggle with this discipline, it is there in my life. I would tentatively suggest that the loving Father has been gently opening my eyes and showing me some simple examples:

1. I come home exhausted at the end of a busy day and the neighbour (aged 8) turns up at the door asking me to help with homework. When I say ''come in", then I am putting his needs before my own. When I say "just 30 minutes today", then I am setting a healthy boundary for myself.
2. A friend tells me that she is moving abroad to live. When I congratulate her and join in her celebration even though I know that I will miss her companionship then I am putting her interests above my own. When I tell her later that I will miss her then I am being true to my own emotions.
3. I have two weeks holiday from work. When I use these weeks to go to Romania and help the education project in the shanty town of Iasi, then I am putting the needs of others before my own. When I choose to stay in a comfortable hotel during these weeks then I am balancing the submissive act with a restorative one.

I suspect that this is a discipline that will be a lifelong discovery. That perfectionism in me wants me to arrive in the perfect place immediately; to understand the great mysteries of God in a moment; to be what He desires now.

As someone else in the group said: Walk this journey "centimetre by centimetre".

Hesychia Stillness

Today I was reading about Hesychia Stillness in a piece written by John Michael Talbot.

He uses an analogy of a pond to explain the effect of stillness. I quote it here because I cannot write it better than he does:

"The waters are usually agitated in the winds of this world. This stirs up the waters so that they become muddy, and unclear. Where once they could reflect an image of God and his wonderful creation like a fine mirror, now they are unable to reflect any image purely. All that remains is a distortion of the original image.

It is only when the waters settle for a great time that they finally are calm and still. Then we can really see what is within the pond of our soul. Then we can reflect all life around us, and the very image of God. This is why it took Jesus forty days and nights of fasting and prayer in the Judean desert. It is why it takes most serious monks a lifetime. It takes years for us as well.

But this is not the end. This is really just the beginning. Once we can really see within the pond of our soul, we discover that there are all kinds of trash that has been tossed into our life over many years of false patterns of senses, emotions, and thinking. The deepest bottom of our soul has become a collection place of all kinds of garbage. All of this can now be cleaned out as well.

Cleaning out the garbage from our soul is a long process. It took years to collect. It can sometimes take years to clean out as well. It is usually just plain hard discipline and work. Furthermore, it usually stirs the waters of our soul again. Sometimes it seems that after we begin the process of spiritual rebirth, all hell breaks loose. In a sense it has. All the discarded and negative and destructive stuff of our life is now coming to the surface as we haul it out. Our pond may seem downright ugly for a while. But this is just temporary. Compared to living in a continual state of agitation and unclarity, this is definitely doable if we but keep our eyes on the divine goal of the eventual clear and clean waters of our human soul."

http://www.johnmichaeltalbot.com/Reflections/index.asp?id=142

Living and resting

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalm 91 v 1

Songburst

A few days ago, I was sitting outside grabbing a few moments peace and quiet when my attention was captured by a blackbird singing. He was sitting on top of the roof and sang for about twenty minutes. I looked all around but saw no other blackbird in the vicinity.

It occurred to me that the blackbird sings because he must -

not because of his audience;

not because his schedule said he should;

not because he gets paid to do so;

not because his neighbours or colleagues were doing so and he had to 'keep up';

not because its the right thing to do.

The blackbird sings because he is so full of song that it bursts out of him and he sings until that songburst is used up.

What things in my life give rise to a similar songburst?

How often must I 'sing' because the impulse is so strong I cannot resist it?

When did I last do something so spontaneous and free as a blackbird's song?

Stilte

Zolang er nog ergens iemand bestaat

met wie ik als mens kan spreken

vind ik ook wel een stilte

midden op straat

een stilte die niet kan breken.

Een kostbare stilte van zuiver glas

dat ik zelf

met mijn stem heb geslepen.

Als ik er niet was

en die stem er niet was

had niemand die stilte begrepen.

Maar als Hij er niet was

en Zijn stem was er niet

dan was er van stilte geen sprake.

Alleen maar van zwijgen,

zo hard als graniet

en dat kan je doodeenzaam maken.

Maar de stilte,

dat is een tweestemmig lied,

waarin God en de mens elkaar raken.

Written by Guillaume van der Graft

Worry

"Can any of you, for all his worrying, add one single cubit to his span of life?
And why worry about clothing?
Think of the flowers growing in the fields; they never have to work or spin;
yet I assure you that not even Solomon in all his regalia was robed like one of these.
Now if that is how God clothes the grass in the field which is there today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, will He not much more look after you? ...
Set your hearts on His kingdom first,
and on His righteousness,
and all these other things will be given to you as well.
So do not worry about tomorrow:
tomorrow will take care of itself."

from Matthew 6 v 25 - 34

All in grace ...

"All (in grace) is of the same quality, though not of the same quantity. The drop of dew on the blade of grass is as truly water as the ocean."

Attributed to Hawker.

Quoted in The Gospel Standard Magazine, January 1874

Empathy

A friend once wrote the following lines to me:

"I walked alone this afternoon.
In the middle of a wood,
I stood
Against a tall tree
And watched
And felt as it moved with the wind.
I knew - had you been there -
It would have needed no words.
Others would never have understood
But you -
You would have known,
Would have felt.

Oh, how I miss you"

That empathy, that feeling of oneness with another is so rare. It is just as rare for me to find this connection with God and yet this is what I am looking for.


The stillness, the time to stand against an tree and watch and wait and listen, is a discipline that I am trying to learn. Once having experienced it, however, leaves a space, a gap, a longing for more.


Sometimes I think relationships are more about the spaces than the noise we share.

Early for Easter

Not just for once a year

but also for all those other births and deaths we experience,
especially in loving.

Out of death,

Life is born.

Dying is so painful

Especially this way of dying:

One's very heart being torn out,
poured out,
given out.
And I am invaded by the darkness
The aching and the emptiness:
Not feeling ...
Not knowing ...
Not wanting ...

And then I see the resurrection:
Life being born again
A different life - more glorious
- more real
- more lasting
A life that fills the void with joy
and peace
and love.
Love.

Love that was thought dead
Comes to blossom:
Opening out to glorify
The One who let the death
And gave the life.

Palms down, palms up

In our study group we have been reading Richard Foster's 'Celebration of Discipline'. In the chapter on meditation, the author talks about 'palms down, palms up'. This has left me with a very powerful image and a useful tool on the way to solitude.
Before I can come to God with open empty hands to receive, then I need to let go of all the things that fill my hands in the first place.
It helps me to think of the things that are stressing me or worrying me and to put those things into my hands. Then I turn my palms down so that everything 'falls out'. This brings a sense of release and readiness.
After this, I sit with palms upwards, to receive from the Lord what He is waiting to give me. My hands are open to receive what He wants to give. I just sit quietly and wait, without asking.
Sometimes it helps to repeat this several times.
I also appreciate Richard Foster's emphasis on the learning process. I am learning how to meditate and to pray and to study. I don't have to feel condemned by God because I have not arrived yet but, like a child, His expectation is only that I grow...

When things get tough ...

www.freefoto.com

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened ...

... and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Seems to me that there are three things to consider in this Bible text:

1) Jesus was brought up as a son of a carpenter and probably would have made yokes for customers. He would have known that it was important for the fit to be right - the easiest yoke to carry would be one that had been made specially for you.

2) A yoke works best when it is equally balanced. If one bucket is full and one is empty, then the yoke is no good at all and you would be advised just to carry one bucket!

3) Jesus was saying that the current yoke that the people were using was heavy but that he was offering an easier way of going through life.

So what do I do with these thoughts:

1) Jesus takes a personal interest in my life. What I go through, he can tailor-make to fit me.

2) It is important to review the balance in my life:

• work and play
• adventure and stability
• old and new
• faith and sight
• noise and silence
• movement and stillness
• looking back and looking forward
• joy and sadness
• doing and being

3) The world around us always seems to be adding to the responsibilities, decisions, burdens that we have to carry. Returning to Jesus unburdens us and gives us back perspective, lightening the load.

This is a picture of a London water carrier by the artist Lauren, which is the best picture I could find to demonstrate what I mean.