Hesychia Stillness

Today I was reading about Hesychia Stillness in a piece written by John Michael Talbot.

He uses an analogy of a pond to explain the effect of stillness. I quote it here because I cannot write it better than he does:

"The waters are usually agitated in the winds of this world. This stirs up the waters so that they become muddy, and unclear. Where once they could reflect an image of God and his wonderful creation like a fine mirror, now they are unable to reflect any image purely. All that remains is a distortion of the original image.

It is only when the waters settle for a great time that they finally are calm and still. Then we can really see what is within the pond of our soul. Then we can reflect all life around us, and the very image of God. This is why it took Jesus forty days and nights of fasting and prayer in the Judean desert. It is why it takes most serious monks a lifetime. It takes years for us as well.

But this is not the end. This is really just the beginning. Once we can really see within the pond of our soul, we discover that there are all kinds of trash that has been tossed into our life over many years of false patterns of senses, emotions, and thinking. The deepest bottom of our soul has become a collection place of all kinds of garbage. All of this can now be cleaned out as well.

Cleaning out the garbage from our soul is a long process. It took years to collect. It can sometimes take years to clean out as well. It is usually just plain hard discipline and work. Furthermore, it usually stirs the waters of our soul again. Sometimes it seems that after we begin the process of spiritual rebirth, all hell breaks loose. In a sense it has. All the discarded and negative and destructive stuff of our life is now coming to the surface as we haul it out. Our pond may seem downright ugly for a while. But this is just temporary. Compared to living in a continual state of agitation and unclarity, this is definitely doable if we but keep our eyes on the divine goal of the eventual clear and clean waters of our human soul."

http://www.johnmichaeltalbot.com/Reflections/index.asp?id=142

Living and resting

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalm 91 v 1

Songburst

A few days ago, I was sitting outside grabbing a few moments peace and quiet when my attention was captured by a blackbird singing. He was sitting on top of the roof and sang for about twenty minutes. I looked all around but saw no other blackbird in the vicinity.

It occurred to me that the blackbird sings because he must -

not because of his audience;

not because his schedule said he should;

not because he gets paid to do so;

not because his neighbours or colleagues were doing so and he had to 'keep up';

not because its the right thing to do.

The blackbird sings because he is so full of song that it bursts out of him and he sings until that songburst is used up.

What things in my life give rise to a similar songburst?

How often must I 'sing' because the impulse is so strong I cannot resist it?

When did I last do something so spontaneous and free as a blackbird's song?

Stilte

Zolang er nog ergens iemand bestaat

met wie ik als mens kan spreken

vind ik ook wel een stilte

midden op straat

een stilte die niet kan breken.

Een kostbare stilte van zuiver glas

dat ik zelf

met mijn stem heb geslepen.

Als ik er niet was

en die stem er niet was

had niemand die stilte begrepen.

Maar als Hij er niet was

en Zijn stem was er niet

dan was er van stilte geen sprake.

Alleen maar van zwijgen,

zo hard als graniet

en dat kan je doodeenzaam maken.

Maar de stilte,

dat is een tweestemmig lied,

waarin God en de mens elkaar raken.

Written by Guillaume van der Graft

Worry

"Can any of you, for all his worrying, add one single cubit to his span of life?
And why worry about clothing?
Think of the flowers growing in the fields; they never have to work or spin;
yet I assure you that not even Solomon in all his regalia was robed like one of these.
Now if that is how God clothes the grass in the field which is there today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, will He not much more look after you? ...
Set your hearts on His kingdom first,
and on His righteousness,
and all these other things will be given to you as well.
So do not worry about tomorrow:
tomorrow will take care of itself."

from Matthew 6 v 25 - 34

All in grace ...

"All (in grace) is of the same quality, though not of the same quantity. The drop of dew on the blade of grass is as truly water as the ocean."

Attributed to Hawker.

Quoted in The Gospel Standard Magazine, January 1874

Empathy

A friend once wrote the following lines to me:

"I walked alone this afternoon.
In the middle of a wood,
I stood
Against a tall tree
And watched
And felt as it moved with the wind.
I knew - had you been there -
It would have needed no words.
Others would never have understood
But you -
You would have known,
Would have felt.

Oh, how I miss you"

That empathy, that feeling of oneness with another is so rare. It is just as rare for me to find this connection with God and yet this is what I am looking for.


The stillness, the time to stand against an tree and watch and wait and listen, is a discipline that I am trying to learn. Once having experienced it, however, leaves a space, a gap, a longing for more.


Sometimes I think relationships are more about the spaces than the noise we share.

Early for Easter

Not just for once a year

but also for all those other births and deaths we experience,
especially in loving.

Out of death,

Life is born.

Dying is so painful

Especially this way of dying:

One's very heart being torn out,
poured out,
given out.
And I am invaded by the darkness
The aching and the emptiness:
Not feeling ...
Not knowing ...
Not wanting ...

And then I see the resurrection:
Life being born again
A different life - more glorious
- more real
- more lasting
A life that fills the void with joy
and peace
and love.
Love.

Love that was thought dead
Comes to blossom:
Opening out to glorify
The One who let the death
And gave the life.

Palms down, palms up

In our study group we have been reading Richard Foster's 'Celebration of Discipline'. In the chapter on meditation, the author talks about 'palms down, palms up'. This has left me with a very powerful image and a useful tool on the way to solitude.
Before I can come to God with open empty hands to receive, then I need to let go of all the things that fill my hands in the first place.
It helps me to think of the things that are stressing me or worrying me and to put those things into my hands. Then I turn my palms down so that everything 'falls out'. This brings a sense of release and readiness.
After this, I sit with palms upwards, to receive from the Lord what He is waiting to give me. My hands are open to receive what He wants to give. I just sit quietly and wait, without asking.
Sometimes it helps to repeat this several times.
I also appreciate Richard Foster's emphasis on the learning process. I am learning how to meditate and to pray and to study. I don't have to feel condemned by God because I have not arrived yet but, like a child, His expectation is only that I grow...

When things get tough ...

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